9 Signs It is Too Soon To Pop The Question of Getting Engaged

There’s a lot of pressure to hit certain life milestones by a specific age. Social media only adds fuel to the fire, making it feel like there's a constant countdown pushing us to keep up with everyone else. But comparing your journey to someone else's is a complete waste of time. The right time to get engaged? That’s entirely up to you and your partner.

The idea that every relationship should follow a set timeline is absolute nonsense.

We live in a time where we have the freedom to shape our lives however we want there are no fixed rules we need to follow. And if someone tries to tell you otherwise? Just smile and tune them out. Seriously, who even made up these so-called “rules” in the first place?

One of the biggest relationship pressures is knowing when to propose. Society still clings to the belief that it’s the man’s job to pop the question but what if you’re not dating a man? Does that mean engagement is off the table? Or what if you’re a woman who wants to propose? Again, who decided these things?

Thankfully, we're living in a time where breaking the rules is becoming the norm.

Which brings us to a bigger question: if there’s so much pressure to head toward marriage after a while, how long should you date before getting engaged?

Assuming marriage is something you actually want because it’s not for everyone when is the “right” time to take that next step?

# You’ve been together for less than a year

Sure, some couples tie the knot after just a few whirlwind months and live happily ever after. But that’s the exception, not the standard. Most relationships need time to grow and for partners to truly understand each other. If it’s been less than a year, focus on building the bond and enjoying each other’s company—there’s no rush.

# Your relationship is all passion, all the time

Passion is great, but when it’s the foundation of your relationship, things can get intense and not always in a good way. Highly emotional relationships often struggle when faced with real-life challenges. If your dynamic is mostly fire and sparks, it might be worth waiting to see if you can handle the calmer, tougher moments too.

# You haven’t met the key people in their life

No one expects to meet the parents after a few dates, but if you've been together for a while and still haven’t been introduced to close friends or family, that’s a sign. It might mean they’re not thinking long-term yet. That doesn't mean they won’t—but it does suggest now might not be the right time to talk marriage.

# You’re unsure about their core values

Marriage means aligning on the big stuff values, goals, life choices. If you’re still unclear about where they stand on important matters, take your time. Have open conversations and see if your views really match before jumping into lifelong commitments.

# You don’t really know what their life looks like outside the relationship

You might know how they treat you, but do you really know them? Understanding their world outside of the time you spend together is essential. A strong marriage is built on knowing and supporting each other fully—not just within the relationship bubble.

# You’re more into the idea of marriage than the person you’re with

It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy of getting married. But if you're more excited about the wedding or the status than the actual relationship, it’s time to pause. Ask yourself: is it them you want to build a life with, or just the image of being married?

# Your arguments sometimes get really ugly

Disagreements happen in every relationship it’s totally normal. But if fights frequently spiral into nasty territory, that’s a red flag. It might mean unresolved issues or poor communication. Work through those problems before thinking about taking things to the next level.

# You haven’t had a single argument yet

This might seem like a dream, but it’s actually a bit concerning. Either you haven’t been together long enough to hit a rough patch, or you’re avoiding difficult conversations. Disagreements are natural and necessary—they help you learn how to handle challenges together.

# You’re unsure how your partner feels about marriage

If you don’t know where they stand on the topic, it’s not time yet. It’s important to have open discussions about your future before making any big moves. If they haven’t brought it up or shown signs they’re thinking about it, they might not be ready—and that’s okay.